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i like to push my body to the limit but not in the healthy living way more like in the how much pasta can i eat before im unable to physically move way

(Source: averagefairy, via blowoffs)



Pixar can never top this.

Can we take a moment to appreciate the fact that the best loved line from this movie comes from a character we never even got to see?

(via gnarly)

Me:*out for dinner with my dad because we were too lazy to cook*
Random Old Lady:*comes up out of no where with the most judgmental look ever* (will also be refereed to as 'ROL')
ROL:Isn't he a little old for you?
Me:Well, considering he's my Dad, I'd say that your a judgmental hag.
Dad:*chokes into his drink*
ROL:You should respect your elders.
Me:You should respect your youth, we're the ones who'll decide on whether or not to pull your cord in like, what? Five weeks?
Dad:*chokes on his drink again*
ROL:*storms off*
Dad:*looks at me with a disapproving look*
Dad:Come on, you and I both know it will be three weeks.


On scale of 1 to STOP ASKING ME THAT FUCKING QUESTION; how done do you think he is?

(Source: andersonhale, via pessimistic-0ptimist)

Bitch, Jesus ain’t gonna pay the fucking bills.

(Source: nergal-junior, via blowoffs)


i have limited sympathy for people who get told “no” after a public proposal because public proposals are pretty much emotionally abusive

like seriously

if you think it’s kinda cute, you can discuss it beforehand and then do a staged one later

but putting someone on the spot in front of a crowd of strangers (or worse, friends) and demanding they give you a yes or no answer to a complex question which will affect the rest of their life is

really not okay

(via parkingstrange)

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